Help for Parents of Troubled Teens

Help for Parents of Troubled Teens Related Information:

Parents of troubled teens become so frustrated with their children that they often need help coping. They need to be involved in any counseling sessions that will help the child to be an active part of the family. In cases where there is a behavior disorder, parents need to have counseling to learn about the disorder and its causes and how to help the teenager at home. If there is no medical cause for the teenager acting in such as way that the parents are unable to cope, there are some things that parents can do to try to turn the situation around.

Parents have to set limits. Within every social setting, there has to be rules and regulations and families are no different. If the teen has generally been responsible, setting rules should not be a problem. It is possible that the lack of suitable rules and too much freedom is what causes many teenagers to get into trouble because they really don’t know how to handle the freedom. Parents need to have preventative rules in place if they really want to protect the teen from getting into further trouble. For example, if a teenager consistently comes home drunk after being out with friends, in addition to making the rule that he/she is not allowed to drink, the parent also has to make the rule that he/she is not allowed to hang around with these friends.

Rather than waiting until the end of the semester to see how the teen is doing in school, certain rules have to be set in place all along the way. Attending school, completing homework, and weekly progress reports from the teacher are ways that parents can make sure that the teen is attending school and is trying to do better. Having systems of rules in place rather than one all-encompassing rule allows parents to become a part of their troubled teens’ lives and be able to see where and when the teen needs to have more help. There will be conflicts, but if parents take small steps in knowing which battles to fight and which to let go, things usually work out. They have to “pick their fights” and in so doing are not constantly embroiled in a battle.

Once the rules are in place, parents want to make sure that the teen will comply with them. Rules need to be enforced, not every now and then, but all the time. If the teenager has gotten into trouble, the compliance with rules is very important. First of all, parents should make sure that the teen understands the rules and understands the reasoning behind them. If the teen is accepting of this, then the problem is already halfway to being solved. If there is any misunderstanding of the rules, it leaves the door open to conflicts. The best thing for parents to do is to sit down with the teen and explain what exactly each rule means.

The hardest part of this is being consistent, but the monitoring has to be consistent as well as following the rules. Being lax one time as a reward may lead to problems later on. A troubled teen will test the boundaries just to see how far he/she will be able to go. Sporadic enforcement does not work. The consequences also have to be set down at the same time as the rules. These vary depending on what rule is broken as well as the teen’s response to the consequence. Some teens may react differently to some consequences than others. For example, if a teen does not normally go out on a Saturday night, then not permitting him/her to do something on a Saturday night will be ineffective. If he/she talks on the phone a lot, limiting phone calls may be more effective.