Gay partner abuse

When most people hear about abuse in a relationship they automatically think about a heterosexual relationship. However, it is important to remember that partner abuse goes on in gay relationships as well, and that this must be taken as seriously as it would be in a heterosexual relationship. Abuse in any relationship entails one partner causing mental or physical anguish to another through violence, threats, intimidation, or harassment.

Dealing with partner abuse is difficult in any relationship, but gay partner abuse can be more difficult than usual for a number of reasons. Firstly, gay partner abuse isn’t always taken as seriously as heterosexual partner abuse, which means that reporting it to authorities or taking the appropriate action is often not as effective with a gay relationship as with a heterosexual one. Secondly, there are not as many specific resources available for victims of abuse in gay relationships, which can often make the difference between an abused partner deciding whether or not to report the abuse.

Although the tactics used in gay partner abuse are exactly the same as those used in heterosexual relationships, and the pain and anguish suffered is exactly the same, a gay partner is often less inclined to file a report for fear of not being taken seriously. The lack of resources can also contribute to this reluctance to file a report, as can the fear of losing a partner that ‘understands’ the abused partner’s sexual orientation. This can be particularly true for an abused partner who is in a first gay relationship, as they may fear losing the partner that helped them to come to terms with their sexuality.

The fact is that it is as important for a gay abused partner to deal with this type of situation as it would be for an abused partner in a heterosexual relationship. It is vital that an abused gay partner breaks the silence, and seeks advice. There is professional assistance available, and trained counsellors are often trained to deal with abused gay partner situations as well as heterosexual issues. Whatever your sexual orientation, the principle is exactly the same: partner abuse is wrong, and whether it is physical or mental, it must be stopped before it gets out of hand.

It is not only the abused partner in a gay relationship that needs to seek assistance. It is also important for the abuser to recognize that what they are doing is wrong and to seek professional assistance to stop the situation from happening in the future, whether it is with the same partner or a future partner.

In both heterosexual and gay relationships, there are partners that are abused every day but are too fearful to break the silence about the abuse they are receiving. However, the degree of silence seems to be higher where gay abused partners are concerned, and in order for more abused gay partners to feel confident enough to report abuse it is vital that this silence is broken.